Why You Might Not Be as Ready for Love as You Think

You have probably heard the saying: we don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are.

It is like walking around with coloured glasses on. If you wear, lets say, blue-tinted glasses long enough, you stop noticing the tint. Everything seems normal, even though everything you see is subtly off.

This is what happens to many of us in relationships.

We keep experiencing the same patterns.
We say we are ready.
We feel confident.
We think we have done the work.
We are sure we are self-aware.

But we still find ourselves saying things like:

• “Why do I keep attracting the same kind of people?”
• “I know exactly what I want. Why can’t I find it?”
• “I just want something healthy now. No more drama.”
• “I’m healed. I’ve moved on.”

And yet…
The dynamics repeat.
The same stories play out, just with different faces.

So What Is Actually Happening Here?

This is where a psychological concept comes in, something called the Dunning-Kruger Effect.

The idea is simple:

People with low skill or awareness in a certain area often overestimate their ability because they do not know what they do not know.

It is not arrogance.
It is not denial.
It is just a natural blind spot.
You cannot question what you do not even realise is there.

That confidence you feel?
It is not always real confidence.
Sometimes, it is just the absence of information.

A Dating Example. In Plain Language.

Imagine someone who has only ever experienced relationships based on validation or emotional intensity. They assume that is what love is supposed to feel like.

So when something calm, mutual and respectful shows up… it feels boring.
They dismiss it.
They run toward something more “exciting” without realising it is just another loop.

That person may genuinely believe they know what they want.
But they are wearing glasses they do not know they have on.

The Blind Spots We Miss

Even those of us who are thoughtful, self-aware, introspective miss things:

• Unhealed echoes from past relationships
• Fear that masquerades as “high standards”
• Loneliness that disguises itself as urgency
• Outdated beliefs about what partnership truly demands

None of these are flaws.
They are human.
But they shape the way we connect and disconnect.

What Makes This So Common?

Because in dating, there are no clear feedback systems.

Nobody hands you a reflection after a failed relationship or dates saying:

• “Hey, this is where your pattern might be showing up.”
• “You seem to fear emotional safety more than you realise.”
• “You’re seeking clarity but unconsciously chasing intensity.”

So we keep guessing.
And the Dunning-Kruger gap stays unchallenged.

The Cost of Dating with Blind Spots

When we believe we are ready without truly being ready, it leaves traces:

• Connections that burn fast and fizzle faster
• Cycles of confusion, hurt, disillusionment
• A growing doubt about love itself
• A quiet hardening of hope

And every time we rush forward without reflection, the ground beneath us becomes a little less stable.

Real Readiness Looks Different:
It is quieter.
It is humbler.
It is honest in ways confidence alone cannot offer.

Real readiness sounds like:

• "I am willing to understand myself better before I expect someone else to."
• "I know how I protect myself and where I might be keeping people out unnecessarily."
• "I am looking for someone to grow with, not someone to fill a script."

It is not about having no fears.
It is about being aware of them and choosing to love anyway.

At Match Colab, We Do Things Differently

We believe dating should not feel like trial and error.

We also believe readiness is not a destination.
It is a practice. A posture. A mirror.

That is why our approach is built around:

• Structured questionnaires that reveal how you actually relate, not just what you say you want
• Feedback loops that help you notice your own patterns after each match
• Human matchmakers who care about your story, about you as a person, what matters to you and what you care about

Because the goal is not to make you “more dateable”.
It is to help you meet yourself more honestly so that when the right connection arrives, you are truly available for it.

Ready To Take the Glasses Off?

Take our relationship-readiness questionnaire that can help you reflect without judgement, pressure or performance.

Take a pause.
Take the quiz.
If it hits home, we will walk the next step with you.

Because the real work of love does not start with choosing someone else.
It starts with being willing to see yourself clearly.